Disciplining Your Children


The month of February 2020 will be on the theme of Parenting. BUT before all of you single and married without children folks check out, I want you to know that many of the applications found in these articles will not only be useful for you in the future, but for the here and now and I will be putting some applications specifically for you in the last paragraph of each section.
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Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 
Ephesians 6:4

Before Monica and I got married, we had the talk. No, not the talk, but the talk about how we were going to raise and discipline our children. We were both in complete agreement that we would, when necessary, discipline them with the paddle for a variety of reasons (read on). Now, I know in today's day and age corporal punishment can be a controversial issue for some, but it really should not be at all. Some will argue that there are much better forms of disciplining the child such as rewarding a child when they have good behavior (essentially bribing them to lead a more moral lifestyle), but what that actually does is create a self-obsessed child. It also reinforces to the child the worldview that true happiness and joy can be found within themselves or from the many idols in this world. An argument also made is that corporal punishment results in more aggressive children and/or children who think it is ok to harm someone they love. However, there is a fine line between abuse and Biblical discipline. And we will discuss that difference later on in this article. So why should we discipline our children with a rod? Because it is an act of obedience to God and love for the child.

Firstly, it is a command from God. For example, in Proverbs 23 we read, "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die." A similar passage like this can be found in Proverbs 19, "Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death." Another verse to consider is in Ephesians 6, where fathers are told explicitly to discipline their children in the Lord. It is a responsibility given to fathers to discipline their children if they truly love their children. This discipline of the rod is not meant to kill the child, abuse the child or purely for the purpose of bringing them. The rod will cause a measure of pain, but the point is not to hurt the child, but is used for the purpose of saving the child. Child abuse on the other hand is meant to simply hurt the child in an act of anger or vindictiveness. While they may employ a similar means, the ends are very different and so child abuse and Biblical discipline are mutually exclusive. As an example, a knife can be used to bring harm, but in the hands of a surgeon they are meant to bring healing. Both are painful, but they each have completely different motives and ends.

Secondly, disciplining our child is an act of love. In fact, in Proverbs 13:24 we find that the person hates their son is the one who spares the rod. It continues to say that the one who loves their child will diligently discipline their child. We love our children and so we use the rod as a means to train them in the way of righteousness with faith that God will save and preserve them and that the child will not stray away from the path of righteousness. The motivation of a parent to correct their child with a rod, Biblically, is very different than one who is choosing to abuse their child out of wrath. In fact, the discipline that a father is to provide to their child is coupled with another responsibility, instruction.

Fathers are to discipline their child and instruct them of the Lord. The former is physical, but the latter is verbal. What this means is that your correction of the child is not complete if you have not also talked with him about what it is that they have done wrong, not simply in the eyes of you, but in the eyes of God. As an example, if your child is eating their dinner with their left hand and that bothers you because you want a right-handed child that is not a time for correction. Your personal preferences do not allow you utilize the rod. On the other hand, if your child sins by lying to you, then that is a proper occasion for using the rod. The rod is yielded carefully, but with the purpose of instructing them of the Lord; in light of Biblical truths, not personal preferences.

We use these moments in order to instruct on why what they have done is firstly a sin against God as well as dishonoring to the parent. Tell him how you are correcting them because even parents still must obey God in disciplining them. What this does is show them that even when they leave the authority of their parents, they never leave the authority of God. But also remind them of how Jesus had died on the cross for all sin, including ones like the one he committed. Turn discipline into a time of gospel instruction. And pray with them that God would forgive them of their sins and pray that he will trust in Jesus for forgiveness.

Perhaps you grew up in a home where you were disciplined harshly. That is a grievous thing to me, but I pray that you will continue to trust in the Lord and see how the discipline that God calls us to, is a completely different thing that you have experienced. And I pray that God will bring you to forgive your parents for wrongly disciplining you. For those of you who do not yet have children, be reminded that God disciplines the one he loves. He does so in order that we may bear fruit of righteousness and share in his holiness (Heb 12). Do not despise it, but view it as a means of sanctification and for His glory.

Grace and Peace,
Alex Galvez

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If you would like to join Alex's 2020 Bible in a Year plan, you can download that here: Bible in a Year Plan

Question? Comments? Post in the comments or send me an e-mail: OverflowBlog@outlook.com

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